iWant

I've been consumed with doing my best at pronouncing what God wants for my life and consumed with every possible angle of what He could want for my life, and then I realized I'm more worried about MY life then GOD'S will. I realized that my first problem was being consumed with my needs/wants/desires and not first devoting myself to the desires of my Creator. i.e. Everything is judged by how it affected me.

In David Platt's book "Radical" he states,

"You and I have an average of about seventy or eighty years on this earth. During these years we are bombarded with the temporary. Make money. Get stuff. Be comfortable. Live well. Have fun. In the middle of it all, we get blinded to the eternal. But it’s there. You and I stand on the porch of eternity. Both of us will soon stand before God to give an account for our stewardship of the time, the resources, the gifts, and ultimately the gospel he has entrusted to us. When the day comes, I am convinced we will not wish we had given more of ourselves to living the American dream. We will not wish we had more money, acquired more stuff, lived more comfortably, taken more vacations, watched more television, pursued greater retirement, or been more successful in the eyes of this world. Instead we will wish we had given more of ourselves to living for the day when every nation, tribe, people, and language will bow around the throne and sing the praises of the Savior who delights in radical obedience and the God who deserves eternal worship."

Truth. Being saved by God's grace means that I get to stand, praise, exult, worship, and adore God. In my worship and prayer and listening to the Word, His shalom [Peace] will well in my soul so that I will leave with a glad sense of personal blessing- a great lift. But that is a byproduct, not a goal, a further evidence of the generous grace of God.

I'm starting to understand that by calling myself a Christian I must understand that worship is the ultimate priority of my life.

Jesus said "If anyone is willing to do His will, he will know of the teaching, whether it is of God or whether I speak for Myself. he who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who is seeking the glory of the One who sent Him, He is true, and there is no unrighteousness in Him. -John 7:17-18

Notice the capital letters signifying God in that verse. It is all for the glory of God. He teaches us. He knows us. It's all about Him. His love. His grace. I think David wrote it best in the Psalms "O Lord, You have searched me and know me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O Lord, You know it all. You have enclosed me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it."

Yes he knows and still died for me. If you feel like you've let God down, you have to realize you were never holding Him up. He is our Alpha and Omega. Our beginning and end. He already has all the glory, it is by His grace I am able to worship Him and live by His Spirit. Amazing grace.