Well I made it to Copenhagen. Not without an extravaganza of course. Long story short I puked on myself. Yes you heard me right… good ol’ fashion upchuck. It went something like this:
I eat a huge meal and have an upset stomach, I'm offered stomach medicine but… of course I say “no thank you I’m really fine.”
Twenty minutes later we’re in the car filling up with gas and I realize that my stomach is turning like the Santa Maria on the Deadliest Catch. I think “Ah it’s just because I ate the most amazing pork tenderloin sandwich of my life, it’ll settle!”
I arrive at the airport and go through the process of them telling me “sir your bag is 13 pounds overweight you need to remove some items”… “sir your bag is still 5 pounds overweight you need to remove some items”…”sir your bag is still a pound overweight but since you’re a pathetic imbecile that wears big clothes and shoes that weigh a lot we’ll let it slide by…” gee thanks. Anyway I say all that to say somehow my stomach ache slipped my mind when I came into the airport and dealt with the sweet (oh so sweet) lady at the check-in counter. Oh and then I still didn’t notice it while I was getting cut off by a 60 yr old woman and her small family of ten in the security line.
Finally I get to my gate and meet up with my long lost classmates that I haven’t seen for two weeks… the teary eyed dramatic reunion eased the pain of the commotion in the pit of my stomach.
Soon after we boarded the plane and I was quickly star struck by my glorious middle seat and a small Chinese man that needs twenty feet of leg room behind me. If I ever dreamed before the trip that I would be able to slightly recline my chair, those dreams were quickly laid to rest by his loud clearing of the throat and accidental kicking of my seat when I would tilt it further than 1.63cm. (Yeah I’m in Europe now I have to try to switch to metric…)
So we take off and of course I’m in my glory when the touch screen in front of me comes on and I can watch any movie I want…if it is Sherlock Holmes. Anyway dinner is served shortly after and I’m heading towards the heavens… literally and figuratively.
The meal was actually very delectable but just as soon as I put the first bite of beef stew in my mouth I remembered “wow, I don’t feel well.” Of course the next thought was “ah I’m not going to get to eat for 6 hours I’ll just go ahead and eat it. It’ll settle…”
With all the strength left in my aching body I scooped up the last bite of cheese cake and almost didn’t keep it down. I quickly reclined my chair, got a very loud clearing of the throat and a swift kick to the back of the chair by an angry Chinese man, and fell asleep.
Thirty minutes later I woke up a HOT MESS. Wow I never had to puke so bad in my life… well that’s a lie… the 1 gallon milk challenge pre-gamed with cottage cheese was probably a little worse. I pushed Kyle Walker out of seat and sprinted to the bathroom.
Luckily it was empty so as I locked the door behind me a beautiful disaster started raining from my mouth. HOLY PUKE. Wow. I had no less than 5 sessions of spewing then realized I missed the toilet with half of it. I thought about ditching it and sneaking back to my seat but don’t worry Mom I didn’t. I stayed in the bathroom the next half an hour cleaning up the whole mess.
I got back to my seat and the Chinese man was sleeping. Justice. I laid my chair back as far as I could and passed out. Yes there was a weird aroma in the air but I was so tired I didn’t even care.
When I woke up I found out what the Aroma was…
(A picture of my pants soon to come)
Yup you got it… puke on my pants. I slept for six hours with puke on my pants. Let me tell you the people around me were thrilled to be in my presence. Anybody that knows me, also obviously knows that the puke is still on my pants as I write this during our layover in Copenhagen. Yeah, seriously it’s dry and it doesn’t smell anymore it’s not a big deal! I miss you all more than you can imagine all ready.
p.s. Just just left Eastern Lithuania to go to Western Lithuania. This country is amazing. I didn't expect any of this... we stayed in an old monastery that was absolutely beautiful. We also went through a former KGB prison and it rocked my world. Wow. More to come later. I miss you all and love you so so much. Be blessed.